Thursday, March 26, 2009

From Mamma Kats prompts:

I am praying for... My Beautiful Daughter!She is the child that did everything right... with a few mishaps but nothing to really speak of... well, she snuck(is that a word... oh well, I'm using it) out of the house one night, but then she couldn't handle it and told on herself. That is my girl in a nutshell.

Anyway, she has had nothing but heartache since her first year of college. She ended up getting married (shes the girl that wants the big happy family, a wonderful devoted husband, lots of kids and the white picket fence) instead she got the opposite. An alcoholic husband that did nothing unless she got mad, drank himself to oblivion everyday, couldn't really keep a job for any amount of time, he had a daughter that was 7 when they got married and used her to drink because he couldn't have her full time... in reality he could have (the mother was out of the picture) but then he wouldn't be able to party. As it was, he only got her on some weekends because the grandparents trusted my daughter. In 2005 she got pregnant and in her 9th month lost the baby (Achaela was her name) when she had a total eruption of the placenta. Achaela bleed to death and Candace was doing the same. Very hard, Very painful physically and emotionally!!! She was a beautiful baby girl who looked like Candace and her sister, my youngest, when she was a baby. I just threw up my hands and told God that I wasn't going to ask questions on this one. It just didn't make sense, especially when you see women out there getting abortions, or not taking care of there babies. That is just the kind of stuff that goes through your head. The hardest thing about it besides the mourning of that beautiful grandchild was watching my daughter go through something so horrific, it still brings me to my knees just thinking about it. Mom's are suppose to be able to make things better, but this was in God's hands not mine. While she was still in the hospital, her husband was drunk, just another excuse for him to drink. I know, that is horrible of me to say but that is how I feel! My nephew happened to be at there house and was able to drive Candace to the hospital because the deadbeat husband couldn't, he was drunk. I lived about 40 minutes away and Candace could have died along with her baby that night. I thank God that my nephew was there. Losing a child, it is something that you do not get over, you learn to live with it but you don't get over it! For months, I was still in fear that I would lose my daughter. Everyone goes through grief differently, but I just couldn't imagine what my daughter was going through and her depression was almost more than I could handle. Anyway there marriage was so dysfunctional, he would drink, she would get mad and he would stop for a few days and then back at it again. She left him twice before she really left him. Before that happened she had a miscarriage and a month later got pregnant again with her oh so beautiful son, my little Bug-a Boo. 3 weeks after Gunnar was born her husband ended up yet again, in rehab. He left to early and Candace gave him one more chance, needless to say she is now a single Mom and is doing a wonderful job. She just didn't want her son around a dad like that! All this heartache has taken its toll on her and sometimes she is just so bitter it scares me. I love her so much and I just want her to get her dream of that wonderful hubby and more children. I pray daily that she will have that dream.


Jen Sue Wild said...

Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life. I know you wrote this with a lot of tears and a full heart.

I feel your heart each and sadness. It is so true the pain gets better but you never forget.

How blessed your Daughter and you are to have such a beautiful rainbow baby boy to help your hearts heal. ( He is such a handsome little guy) God is truly great.

My thoughts and heart are with you and your family.
Love ya Jenn

Lissa said...

You and your daughter have been through so much. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Wishing you peace as we continue on this journey we call life.

Pam said...

Hi Sharon. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Your daughter's story is such a sad one, but filled with hope, too. I think I can understand her pain as I, too, lost a baby (though I was only 6 months pregnant). I will keep her in my thoughts.

Kelly said...

Hugs to you! Checking in from SITS. Your daughter has been through a lot, as have you. She is lucky to have your love and support.

Suzi said...

Checking in from SITS. It sounds like your daughter has been through a lot, but she also sounds so strong. I hope she has her happy ending.

Ms Cupcake said...

Saying a prayer for you and yours. Checking in from SITS. Wishing you a beautiful week. My best. Zen Cupcake

The Rambler said...

Wow, I really got pulled about your story of your daughter.

I, too, pray she finds the knight in shining armor that will take her to the castle she deserves. He's out there. I just know it.

Thanks so much for visiting me on my SITS day! Making the rounds to thank everyone! Wish me luck :)

xoxo~Rambler @ My Rambling Thoughts